Let the Rain....fill us up

Lately, I have felt this strong need to be surrounded by people who love Jesus...I have been away from the church for some time and grew bitter towards christians. I have been desperately trying to find my place in this world and I have grown cold and angy.  However, not towards everything. I have nothing by love and warmth for my baby. However, my bitterness and frustration has been damaging to my relationships and myself. I struggle on a daily basis with anxiety and irritability. I have grown to dislike most of everything about my life except for my daughter. Resenting people that have done nothing but love me. 

I started having this need to be surrounded by people who love Jesus becaues I was a warmer and kinder person then. There is a band called Casting Crowns, their recent album "Come to the Well" is phenomenal. I felt this urge to buy it today, despite our lack of finances. I put it in the cd player and as I drove home from the store, I was overwhelmed with a flood of tears. The song titled "The Well" really hit hard, I will post the link at the end. I just felt this overwhelming sense of Love from God and despite where I have been and what I have been feeling he just took over. I felt like I was feeling sorrow as God was feeling because of his children(me) was so far away and he couldn't reach them. And then I felt just pure love saying Why haven't you let me in, I have been trying  to love you and you won't let me. I need to be around those who love Jesus, but not just Jesus they need to love everybody unconditionally despite what their path is. I need this for myself and I need it for my family especially my daughter. 

Here is a link to the song:

The Well by Casting Crowns

Let the Rain......Make us Cherish

Hello World,

It has been quite a while since I have been on here. Since the last posting, I have brought into the world the most beautiful baby girl I could have EVER asked for. She just turned 6 months old on December 5th.....Wow does time fly by or what?!

Through the past 6+ months, I have learned a lot about cherishing the little moments. I am a stay at home mom and I am proud to be. I have been asked several times why I have not sought out employment. Here is your answer: I am finishing my BS in Psychology online currently, any job I attain will be for minimum wage or just slightly above so. Yes- it will be experience and a plus on my resume...but the bottom line is this: Everything I make in any job I would currently qualify for would go directly into childcare, I would rather take care of my child. Furthermore, I may gain experience working, but I will not gain anywhere CLOSE to the experience I will have watching my daughter grow, learn, laugh, cry, and all of the other blessings that come with being a mother.

I have never loved anything else as much as I love my daughter. She is everything to me, how could I love anymore than I love her? It happens...because my love for her grows more and more everyday. I guess this  happiness and love is how God must feel about all of his children in the world. Amazing...

While, there has been ups and downs as far as parenting goes between my husband and I...we work through it and we are still learning about each other....Although we disagree or have our arguments we will always agree on the Love of our child...

...Because after all, Love brings us all together.

Let the Rain...Make us Wonder

Yesterday evening, Nathan and I were discussing a documentary we watched entitled, "My 40 year old child". The Doctor on the show made this ridiculous claim that humans are the only species that can worry or make memories. I don't quite remember which claim it was. Either way- it was silly. We then remembered that Discovery had a new website which answered the question, Do Animal Worry about Growing Old?

So we went to the website to find out.The conclusion was that they do not. A source cited within the answer was based off a study published in April of 2008  on episodic like memory in rats and whether it is based on when or how long ago. We read the article that Animal Planet was citing, the conclusion that the Dr. made at the end was that Animals do not form memories. We felt there was something wrong still. So I took my social researching skills to work. Searched for the exact study done in data bases and finally found the actual publication. We printed it and read it together.

Long story short- there was no definitions of how the Roberts, the researcher, was defining the terms "when" and "how long ago" -to us those are essentially the same things. He also was testing for episodic memory and making a wild claim that animals are not capable of forming memories is an entirely different thing as we have no way to test for that. If we could there would be HUGE breakthroughs in the Neuro-Medical Science world. Especially in understanding Alzheimer's. Robert's conclusion was that it was doubtful that mice can form episodic memories. This is a definitive answer and making a definite claim off that is silly.

After we read this article, my husband and I spent 2 hrs talking about it and what was not accounted for and the claims that were made after the fact.  Clearly...we are nerds. This was a Bio-Psycho study done and was somewhat confusing statistics wise. But we were able to make enough understanding to really question the conclusion drawn.

After our long nerdy discussion on this research, we then discussed how unfortunate it is that publications tend to draw their information the simplest and quickest way manageable. Discovery sourced the Social Reader from the institution that "recapped" general concepts from the study and gave a different conclusion then what was truly found. The study was not testing for the capability to worry or form memories. This goes to show how easy society is persuaded by fancy words and republications of republications and so on and so forth.

At the end of the day, I love my husband. It's a good thing we can be nerds together! :P

Let the Rain...bring new life

My husband, Nathan, and I are expecting our first baby (Sophia Mae) this coming June and it is a very exciting time! It is a perfect time of year to welcome in new life. Spring bring us rain and with the rain sprouts new life from flowers, greenery, and  baby critters to so much more! The more I see flowers sprout and hear baby birds chirping, I can only imagine the new feats little Sophie is making in my belly. 

However, among all this excitement comes the anxiety of bringing a new life into this world. Nathan has recently shared his excitement along with the growing worries of being a dad.  He is going to be an AMAZING father, though he may not realize this yet. It's one thing when your little one is in the safety and comfort of your womb, but when they emerge it takes a lot more to keep them safe and a lot of thought of the values that you instill in them as they grow and learn from watching your behavior. 

I wonder if birds, critters, and other animals share the same excitement/worries of bringing their new bundles of joy into the world? Or if they have a set of values that they wish to share with their babies through example?